It is probably safe to say that I was on the verge of being suicidal when I first worked with Gaynor. I had just discovered my husband was having an affair. He continued to lie about the relationship for over three months during which it was our daughters’ wedding, my birthday and our 25th wedding anniversary.
From the very first session, Gaynor gave me techniques to use at home to keep me safe. It might have been a saying or an action but those were literally ‘life savers’. Once the initial horror of what was happening calmed down, I then worked on improving my own self-esteem and learning to cope with life’s ‘knocks’. I learnt how manage my anxiety (which stopped me eating) . With Gaynor’s help I was able to see that relationships I had with other members of my family were so destructive, I was unable to say clearly what I wanted (probably because I didn’t even know what I wanted – it had been beaten out of me as a child). I learnt about ME. I learnt how my own behaviours can impact on others. I learnt not to ‘rush in’ but to deliberate about what I want. I learnt to say ‘no’.
I have come out of the ‘other side’ a calmer, more thoughtful, more resilient individual. I still have some way to go in terms of improving my self-esteem but I can do that in my own time. The urgency of keeping myself safe has now receded.
I’m sure I could not have coped without Gaynor at the time of the discovery and subsequent lying and her continued support in my recovery has led me to be a stronger more rounded individual.
I’m her biggest fan!!
Counsellor Gaynor (Counselling)